Cat and a story

yet again-
i never understood how a cat scratches its way up the tree
whats in those nails that i lack
an expectation
and the reason i had carried it
as myself
or to live wrong in a story
every bark i had fallen from
was seemingly a grounded tree
heights viewing me
steeping me back from as far as i climb
time spending itself
natures pulling its way
to slide me down
this i can do
fall off deep
and not mourn the cat
from the young to old
how obvious can the message be
parked and moving
in a journey to nowhere.

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Life of I’

Yesterday i watched “life of Pi” again and felt like to be a non believer would be such a hard working life. (those who haven’t seen it, please watch). Even the things i cannot control i have to take responsibility thinking that it is necessary so as to control my output in life i meant.

Although mechanical sometimes but it does come to what i have learnt and am i putting my own emotions back to practise. We get lazy when the bad times pass by, our own association only becomes limited to the sadness we may feel in that split sec nostalgia, that is i think because the reasons we have to put as to why something happened are limiting. I am seeing the life just as if it had no meaning to it, but still its there to be done felt dealt and loved maximum to.

Why should anything mean anything, but once i know myself, it is also important to give our own meaning and then flow with everything nevertheless
.
.
.

It may seem like you would die but you wouldn’t

the brain of heart may seem like a physicality but it isn’t

lungs have more of a mind of their own

choking on bad air is knowing

memory knows history but

to blow away into the proportion of opposite

I believe I should believe this too

being wrong is a dimension of its own

and believing you are, is another

what should I leave to get what

matters on what I leave when I get what I want

I am good then leave behind cramps in body of dead

or take their misery with me

why to hold what should flow

so live life

but do go deep deep deep into the soil of deepest oceans

and kill yourself

that is how you will find

that nothing beats as much as roots that float

with darkened hardened seasoned bits of soul

You can now take a fall

but take with you a foreword for life

Whatever you do

don’t live a insipid life knowing nothing of anything

or an ignorant one knowing everything of nothing.

Camphor Ball

June July August and now September.

Three months and no posts. I have been learning magic for this while. Well anyways this post is about the world and our default learned behaviour that never wants us to know that we are all we need. What is simple always doesn’t become the obvious answer, why ? Because we are the complication. We unnerve everything around us and ourselves as well because simplicity always begets contempt in how easily it’s available, there are no forms to anything but many, limited by our visibility. It is the visibility that manifests itself in our future and present, in what we create recreate or destroy. Everything we see, everyone we meet keeps triggering our defaults and we can’t change the pattern because we either do the same thing or the opposite when we are afraid of old results. How we can resolve this to follow our conviction with simplification of thoughts. In such thoughts I feel like I am absorbing the universe and maybe we all are always doing the same just unaware of it. Cheers to those who understood 👆

Camphor ball

Reduced by whiff of trust lethargy of hope should not take me over
or else
how to see the monotony of vigour?
where facts derive me out from sweat of procrastination and take future out my hands before
where
I had dwelled deep and dug all the corpses of brain but couldn’t touch the past
as if
I didn’t exist there and memory just absorbed what it found in the transcendence of mind
an lon an anion
kept what it felt in the friction
a negated packet
a hyped paradigm
a dusted love
absorbs me and expends me
I absorb the world in return and expand me per breath
juvenile
sedated
alive
learning
traveling in my own brain

a camphor ball.

The revered God of odds

I don’t know why I keep coming back and reading this one, maybe because it makes me feel both oblivious and related to the pains of past. 🙂

inapoem

This is a call to create me because I don’t exist

and seeing my life I think I may be the one

who walks past the dreams and desires

skillfully in a bliss remembering the odds on how these existed without the pain

but then I am proved right soon

leading me to think I created them

but if history of people would talk they would have the same walk

still I am blamed not to live through it with patience

and patience they say some don’t realise they already have it as a character

while those who don’t are often seen demanding it

I am familiar with this cycle

but I am in the odd

with about everything

and the slipping society

who will soon think of me

as a non conformist

and while they don’t know what they are conforming to

I have to mix in a haste

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Unrequited Love

So many of us make it a task to not fail, but at all wrong places and for all wrong reasons, reasons that we may not even recognise, reasons that are so deeply rooted that we have no idea what we are doing thinking it is love or the person we want is the only one for us. STOP. PAUSE. Love again if you want but STOP with that person. It is almost an obsession which doesn’t bring any output. This poem captures the essence of that feeling when your love is not being recognised or respected.

I cannot turn me
anymore,
without turning to you.
you know
how far you go,
In a distance that time breaks
turning my darkness
to grey,
you are my light.

But I can only burn me,
all the while
pretending,
that it is alright.

A day is but a day,
that must become night,
whether it wills it,
Or not
and the sun must burn
the lotuses must wake,
And among it all,
unassumingly,
The earth,
each moment will have to take a call
and love unrequited,
doesn’t have to endure it all..

Old with time for youth..

Hi Everyone.

I am not verbose on the blog and I just post poems when I feel like sharing. This time it has been long since I last posted but now getting back to it. Just felt like writing this note to tell how in the last year where I have gone through thousands of storms this blog, the sharing and your comments have time and again come to my rescue. I just want to wish everyone peace in whatever they are dealing with and that we should keep expressing. Our souls have no barriers and I am thankful for the internet 🙂

This poem stemmed from a thought while just walking on the street. I saw group of old people and myself and just was trying to think what an old person would worry about and what they would be thinking about the choices they may make about people or things they may have wanted in there life. The process of growing up is happening so subtly but so directly that we think it’s pain or yearning or achievement or failures, while so much is happening we still think that we are left behind and are in such hurry to live that we don’t recognise that living is not in age or achievements but it is always a direct result of our own thoughts and the actions we take to satisfy those thoughts..just that..

Most people kill to die
some would die but not kill
some talk
some spill
How to gift a rose without cutting its stem?
maybe
by gifting a plant
but there are hassles in growing up
Who would want?
The old walk
toe to toe
hand in motion
just as doctor said
no curiosity
we are all one less then the allowed chance
but age helps
bills and hearts
everything bulging was taken care of
no refuge left to take
love career body parts
everything is now together
no matter how much it were apart
But there is still time left for me
I have this youth
and years for free
Though there is nothing left unsaid
pain memory love hope regret
but still I have to churn out more
I am not settled
that’s the lore
come wish me luck
people say
I will have to live a little more.

Water & Roots

Smooth and clogged
thousands of me
meet and become my roots
these stems outgrow me
and towards those billions of light
but I don’t reach the sun the moon the tavern of the hut across the river
I can’t swim
I grow
but to float
waters of woo and lights of heaven
grounds fasten in changing tides
I have a life
I have a fear
I have a hope
I have a tear
I know everything I can reach
I have roots
I wish to keep.

a infinite task

I zero one down to
two and then to
three and four..
create infinity.
speechless, with infinite sounds
I utter nobody’s
the basic fundamentals
find and kill rudimentary emotions
so that judging cowards can cry peace
they like each other
and break me free
on the leash.
the river flows of my destiny
going forwards
it takes me back
I seek I keep I repeat
the uncounted unuttered inexistent numbs
count me
and I count it to thee.
then I say four three two one..
it’s fatal to try and
reverse infinity.

Relationships

IMG_6653

It is a dirty case of cleaned glasses
aged with the eyes which saw through
to see dust sitting on the window
where crows were cawing until the flesh loosens
and legs spread
we come down to heights
philosophy lost to the likes
surrendering to monotony of mutual rights.

the air comes between us and space
when we recreate ourselves
and our rusty past
it shakes the distance
we covered to last
we create from sun and feed it to moon
our dreams to our youth
once more lot of ground to cover
lot to ignore
glassened hardened fastened
our eyes to our shattered core.

Mirror Meditates

Through the broken glass of a shaken house
paradigms shift to let in the light
when and how much
too hard to decide

reflecting in the angle it was set in
traversing the light
shining on things as they were thrown
Mirror Meditates
to change angles.

shadowed on
horizons of reflection
it’s a straight image
hiding the streets
vision fails to intrude.

I sit and call for purpose in pain
confidence in vain
and wisdom in shame
light strives to direct reflection
I get back
whatever I ask for
it doesn’t go sideways
there are few things I would rather not say
it’s my own mirror
it ignores my ways.

changes in surface
go on to imbibe
Convex
Concave
what kind of darkness it is
I have to decide
under spell of my own ways
expand out
look inside
I change my mirror
Cant change my sight.