Multitude

In the multitude truths

mine was a speck of my story

intertwined with your perspective of it

hindering me to visualise how it actually happened

I end up not being so sure about my own past

while the disaster in my head dances on my failure to claim 

my own pain because I always compare it to yours

while infliction of it – you think is my choice 

but you do it yourself without knowing

that is why good hearts are streaked with confusion

and those with noise are always sure.

Destiny’s bride

Rock and roll was hectic and 

the songs of solitude were singing homeless souls

the vulnerable priest crying and 

virgins finishing their goals

coffins caught up with the deadbeat lives

life chalking trials for destinys wife

fate doesn’t succumb to the ill-fated while

another task to do with a smile

meanwhile the chorus shunned all background sounds

cords struck around the neck 

on the surround speaker ofcourse

righteous shouted on the songs course

singing away the destinys bride

women waiting to finish their misguided life.

Face to keep

I hear you my girl

like the silence that screeches 

through the skies 

in hope of your noise

to be loud

I hear you my girl

in our silos we all are proud.

but I will ignore you my love

because you are not my life

some other day when I will be you

I will squeeze this pain out of you

and I will then pay the price

of not being by your side.

To the women I see fighting daily but don’t help because of so many fears. Fear of my immediate family, fear of being judged myself, fear of their own future. 

Primal

what if love was primal 

not this flowery state of mind 

I heard the cats and dogs whisper

they too felt the need to define

but they were soon disinterested in the thought

like their primal fits 

it was short

but a man kept bugging the concept

created content 

published the stress

the first love musters me

makes me mushy weak in my knees

I cripple the senses

fuse the bulbs and 

muse the nulls

in expectations of that first look

into the souls

I keep baring mine

gathering my own flames I wander

island to island

and everything opens up for me to define

the beauty rises 

with the sunsets

where a smile to myself

alone staring at the beds

of anywhere I would go

I can imagine of so many women I know

but I dont

just smiling at myself for that special one 

faith in heart 

I await the one

she enters into my dreams 

through the yellow cab 

wandering alone 

I pause to gasp

how do they behold these moments of truth?

how do they stare pretending not to look?

I am unaware of shame 

and in being lame

I just walk behind her

not looking like a trailing dog

shying seeing changing lanes

I follow her like insane

she pauses

smiles

tweaks her head 

30 degree to right

what else is love at first sight?

if the godesses in temples could walk

would they stay

such beauty should belong to one

I would pray

she would not belong

longing for her worshippers

she would be gone

another morning 

I would say other names

some were dedicated to ease my pain

some were looking to make their gains

some were plain ugly 

some were profoundly insane

some were like me 

soul searching their own nemesis name

but the search made me figure this out 

that we all are primal 

in one or other way 

some in our searches

and some in our need to stay.

Old and Content

Don’t ask me for courage

I dropped it in the nutshell of peace

The wolves hunted my bravery

My women was put to leash

The girls who giggled at wake of puberty

Silenced themselves in the hook ups of past

The men who surfaced

Went mad trying to make them last

Hunted were hunters and they did the same

Each relentlessly becoming insane

When there is no path that you can lay

All paths eventually lead astray

Always a flag on horizon 

For which they would ride

People told me to go there to hide

I reached there 

And came back to save my sight 

Blisters of my journey still wake me up in the nights

I smile when Old and Content

Means to have paid all the price.

Beauty

How do you speak to beauty?

How long you bask in its while?

How long do you bother?

by how it ties through its golden threads of warmth 

it knits me in a cocoon 

where I am left to think that nothing will evolve

the stage will cease to honor the actor 

and the play would never complete

because I won’t let it

in the moments that I gasp

out of you

my own breath belittles me

on syncing with you

there is no butterfly when I it open up

the enchantment always completes itself

when love goes full circle

all works well only when 

I remain enchanted

and think that the cocoon is my life.

Oh Master

Oh master! I look up to you 

not into you

with my love 

It is true

and yet you fail me 

and my surrender

saying its not complete

Oh master! looking into you 

was not wise

it would have let 

to same demise

Oh master! I just wish 

to make you wise

let it be the peripheral love

for a peek inside told me

you, like me, 

are a lot of beautiful and ugly bees 

within your soft beehive

and I don’t want to become that small

to enter 

and grow inside you 

then to break the softness

and let the stings out

to free myself

nor I want you to kill me

because of the pain

it is to accommodate another person

accept please as I said

I look up to you

not into you.

The plague of tough words

I minutely look at a poem

study it word to word 

I dont understand!

tough words

I pick up a dictionary 

and find the words 

relate the meaning and

construct a sentence

I forget what I was reading

and meaning is again gone

I read the line again

I get it now

by this time my grammar has improved

but the flow is gone

and I find the meanings impractical

or rather I found it nonsense

to go into poetry

with the words I didn’t felt

I wonder if great poets loved themselves

Or they just loved to plague poetry like everything else.

The algae

I am that slimy substance 

you find me in the water 

anywhere on the rocks

When water gave me birth out of its smoothness

I slipped to become that algae

because I am in love with water

I dont find my land

but water takes me to places

where I dont want go

I try to let go

but as soon as I find my earth 

it pulls me again

for it wants me to just keep flowing

with its inconsistent moods

And the air of its own surface doesn’t bother it

because it pushes me instead

and I take the pleasure

and again slip 

I go on till I am dissolved

Or left to be.

How was I wrong?

No you don’t say

That you have been hurt

For hurt is your conception 

Of my actions 

Which you defined

By the conditioning you already had

But my conditioning had a different name 

And hence now you don’t believe my actions 

And I mutter about the insensitivity

Of your extreme sensitiveness

Which sensitizes only your senses

For yourself

Not for me

But you say I was wrong

Tell me how was I wrong?

Then again

Lost in yourself

You would not have an answer.