Dead God and UnThankful Me

Dead God when you dreamed of me

I was sinking, you could see

I crossed you in swinging through your oblivions

Kicking you hard to beat your eyes open 

but you just passed through me, lost yourself

My prayers muttered into your endless, boundless souls. There was much noise and clutter, from those before me. They thought that in your kingdom they would hold.

Dead God why were you so dead

Even when others saw you alive 

They say you were stung and deprived 

Like all, you just wanted to feed

On all positive and still weeped

You had nothing to give back 

And even if you did, you’d put riddles on those gifts

In my faith I was cracking them open in your name

Like to you my virility was a long game

The thought of being thankful then just passed

I am sorry my dead God, but more than your blessings my struggles surpassed.

Just Romance

Is it that tune to which you dance, or in my head the romance

Dont mutter, be loud, I caught you singing the same song, now don’t pretend I was wrong

It’s not hard, it’s just a start, deny or dont sing, don’t pretend yet that it’s a fling

Look time is running, I got things to do, don’t toy with your eyes, what is that you are afraid to do?

Inside the gathered pieces all are the same, my heart, your heart, their hearts, all hearts are insane

Till the hearts boil, let us burn ourselves

Tomorrow when they all die, heaven or hell both could be a lie

For now, take the chance, just romance.

The Logicians Life

If logic rules 

The luck doesn’t prevail

We dont take chance 

And we fail

How much can we really know

While we plan in summer for fog and snow

Each and every probability can’t be fixed

We sit calculatung

The moments we miss

Or other times we are busy judging

Logic in life of those loving

The time while flows away

Us debating the plans to make it stay

The logic fails only with the end of our life

You can’t be both happy and live logical lives.

Only 1 true love

Can i please die with you

I am forty years old now 

My car gives up again and again

The kids are okay

Settled and all game

I worry about how I would have done

Without you the only one

Who has always been there

In good bad and none

When my love failed and when luck dried

Only you with me cried

I worry, worry a lot

Without you I would not have the heart

To live and to be around 

Can I please die with you my mother

There’s is no other love for which I would bother.

Power rangers at work

I feel like a power ranger when i write

armoured heavy but light

Only if pen were bullets the hearts I could strike

Butcher carve persuade them with their own spite

They would see and be surprised

How little they knew of the world in my eyes..





Contextual life

I did nothing for you

Is it contextual?

In our related contexts

Do you then perpetuate variation due to judgemental bias

You should have taken the judgemental bias into consideration

Hence you did nothing

Just laugh that’s life

I took the judgemental bias into consideration

Is that alright

Lets wait for the high tides, and in low tides

Then I dont like the monotony here

Its just my judged bias nothing that you steer

I gasp of those tight clasps

I steer fine

Balancing contexts, biases, monotony and include the degrading pride

I steer, convinced I made all fine

You are self indulged is my new shrine

Too fixated too driven too perfect is a new crime

I just sigh on that decaying life

All the contexts I proved still cannot claim

That which was not love was so plain.

Satisfying people

So I did nothing for you, is it contextual? I asked

In our related contexts; they said

So do you perpetuate that there might be a variation due to your judgemental bias

Well you didn’t take the judgemental bias into your consideration hence you did nothing

Just laugh that’s life.

Cupid Struck souls

You can tell by the way they walk

In the corridors skeletons talk

Humble docile conquered 

Unmasked

The souls dying to be locked

The chains are flowers in their misty eyes 

Wandering gardens to get themselves tried

Bodies are temples and shrines are forts

Their hearts, an endless resource

Pouring out the stream of love

Sickingly selfless and all above

Pleading submission itching your pride

Tempering love and shaking your life

Drown drown with them you now drown

Busy filling their holes

These stupid ugly cupid struck souls.

not Me in You

I am not you

but this other person

That I was

That is me

How can then I fill your destiny?

As different and as close

or aloof and connected

I will not be absolute

For absolute are my changes

As you are not bound to be

this person, over years,  you or me.

As mustered the past is

With the future to begin

You count I count 

We recount

All things in a blink

It was not once 

but over time

that you are yours 

and I am mine

To reverse this is insane task

Shredding each other to pieces

Inhuman to ask

Still we do 

In and out 

With love With marriage With sacrifice

Sometimes it help

Other times it kills

Layer by layer 

Deep sadness sets

The soul shrinks 

The heart adjusts

The mind reiterates

Life says 

Dont call me 

Its not death yet.

Sun and Souls

The morning sun rides daily

And asks me shall we start

I pretend to not notice

There is too much darkness in my heart

It shines and tries to make a compromise

I use an umbrella not for shade

But keep my darkness tight

I’d say my soul is too broken for light to be a part of me

It says

My dear its a ever living soul how broken it can really be

He snatches and says 

Dont defend so hard

I give in daily

And daily I start

For a moment I think the last leaf has been turned

My soul clinched to let it be 

In light it burnt to ashes

To set me free

But wonder happens where we start

The body the soul the heart are all but our parts

With the will of the sun the days begin

We live we wither

And soon there are other birds to sing

The souls are but cycles like sun

One comes one goes

And each of them goes through emotions

 But dies with none.

When You Leave the Kid Behind

Meet me in hallway

Not in the halls

The past lies there

The washrooms sing of the hopes

The canteen is where I would boast

Meet in the hallway

Halfway through

Where walking the distance made me humble

Meet me at the staff room

Where I was not afraid

Run with me at the sports

Where all sadness would abort

See me in that way

Through those hopes

You change me 

I am still that kid

Just waiting to be found

but when

In ways of world I didn’t see the truth

Confounded more than the books

I will have to rewrite the bits

And then maybe I will be fit

Will have to leave the kid behind

Even if you search me then you will not find.

The silenced truth

When a women kisses herself goodbye

Sometimes in her prayers

Sometimes being shy

Sometimes in the mediocrity of her thoughts

Sometimes in her cries

Some place some other women then dies

She dies because each time we dont speak 

Unspeakable acts become the truth.

So many times we see events around us and we choose to not be a part of them, we choose to ignore, we choose to not notice. Men, women all act same in these matters of avoidance. Surprising is I am sure that act of avoidance would linger with them all their life still they manage their soul to get past it. They still ignore, I just don’t know how.

The (real)(ideal)ist guide to life

Is it in deciphering

Or it is in living

Wherever the answers lie

Surrounding the life around or in the thoughts

Both agree and both deny

How do an idealist and a realist say “hi”?

One sees everything worth living for

And another looks for all things seldom found

One believes in how the world looks

And another in the world not found

The idealist says I will keep you surprised

The realist says you may have to pay the price

The price to expect better or to expect at all

The idealist says its better than to be behind contemplated walls

While one looks at historical walls

Another at how they would fall

Where does the world keep what these two find

One is real and another is to define

Can it be a same world they create?

Can both make each other stay?

Would a realist ever take a leap of faith?

And will a idealist get tired of hope?

As how the age old struggles of ideologies go 

Nobody wins and noone lets go!

Man at the end of Rainbow

That is where the magic becomes the truth

Where the man at the end of Rainbow finds you

He is in between all those colors

you navigate your life

You are a lover, an ex, or somebody’s wife

He knows what you felt all the while

And he just doesn’t holds you

He holds your heart

You can tell him all the stories from the start

He sits there listning in the awe of your being

He looks at you and you know you are his queen

He gushes the storms and sings to the clouds

He muses the tears 

And claims your fears

He is there at the end of rainbow

Waiting to find you 

In between this life that surrounds you

He looks dapper in all that blue

Holding an alarm clock in his hand

Says “Come on wake up girl!”

Thats a lot to dream through!

Gods Dark Plot

Dont look at me like that

I am not alone

I have a man and a home

I was just born this way

With a burdened soul

And a heart with solitude as a hole

The warmth doesn’t belong to me

And cold doesn’t make me feel right

I dont like love and lust is too tight

I wriggle in all the emotions but exhibit none

I fathom the mysteries and yet create some

So what do I do with this soul

Calm, composed and so old

I burden it with my writing goals

When with people I am the crowd

I am calm but my mind shouts

It doesnt find sense or

It finds it a lot 

We are writers

We are God’s dark plot.

Trying the trials

I keep trying 

And yet I fail

In trying my trials remain

Pushing and gushing 

Life in me

I strike with wonder

The moulds of life

They don’t change

They change me back

I usher to strike them hard

They are rigid

I look retard

I punish the things around me to mold

Everything besides me, they hold

I keep doing myself the harm

The world stays, alas I loose the charm

In my trying the trials remained

I was rigid, I was the one who had caused the pain.

Digital diarrhea

You can scoop in so many hidden ways

Yet you choose to show

With starred gluttony for life

They get in a row

Ignoring reality around them

They think through internet they know

About your lives your ways and will

Too tamed to be them

The reality in real changes

And everyone is then the same

The unedited versions now dont remain

The winged souls are clipped online

The stories are a few 

Shortened, lengthened, misconcieved, made anew 

With the posts minds of gullibles sway

The real people poop themselves away

In all the chaos internet diarrhea stays

Reminders of sinking sun

The setting sun reminds me of

Shooting arrows in the rains

Condemns me of making those plans 

Far before I was sure what I would gain 

The nests I see on my way

Pity me for coming back and going away

The people I see stare at me

Knowing that I belong but not to stay

I see back at the place I grew

I pick up my clothes and leave the rest

For me to find it again

Someday when I will stay

Someday when I have more time

Days and years I yearn for what is lost

But bound to a life I can’t part

I sit admist those who I don’t know

And forget friends who were there from the start

With hope that I will find my life again

I live on with all the years till the end

I lived feeling that I didn’t belong

But if I was living, life was there all along

I walked past through it

And everytime I was happy

I wasted myself being sad and searching more of it.

Rust and all things old.

They are not costly 

Not so important 

About seldom told

In a small trunk somewhere

There beauty holds

All things rusty

And memories of gold

Sometimes you keep that card

Sometimes you tear it apart

Sometimes it’s in your thoughts

Sometimes it’s a forgotten sock

Rusty and all things old

They are always with us

But about seldom told.

Like me/know it/ know it not

It is imperative to know. To know are you being loved or not, to know how much is that love, is it for real and will it last, last long and be enough.
The point still remains after all this struggle is that you actually cannot know. It’s not possible to know the depths of your own love or that of others. You can choose to believe that it’s there and that even when it’s not life is alright in any way it would come…

This poem writes the anticipation of love and then to let go of that anticipation.

You like me as a child of 9

Or you like me as a old wine

You like me as summers glare

Or you like me as warmth of my hair

Like me as playful delight

Or you like me as a feast for your sight

Do you like me as a light breeze through your window

Or as the warm air you smell in the morning sun

Do you like me as storming hail

Or as timid snow behind fogs veil

You like me calm beside you

Or as an impatient lover eager to draw you

Do you see me through these years

Or as someone stopped in time

How do you feel me say

As blood flowing through your veins

Or as skin that wriggles for one touch

Do you see me through these eyes

Or my heart is in your sight

Do tell me.say

Or tell me.nay

I am here always

For your words

And for you..